Letters from Communist Camp!

EUSTIS REPORTS TO REDS EXTENDED SPRING TRAINING
(Changchun,  AP) In his final mission in the Far East, Zack Eustis of the Eagan REDS took the field for the first time in 8 months to fine tune his wiffle skills in his first step towards rejoining the potent REDS lineup and pitching rotation in five weeks. Using what he described as "imported wiffle goods," Eustis consistently hit 55 on the "radar gun," mixing in mostly sliders and risers with the occassional screwgie. When asked how he felt about his team's chances of returning to the HRL World Series, Eustis was quoted as saying, "I love our chances. We're already off to a fantastic start. We got close last year, but now we've got the team that we want, not to mention the powers of the Commies AND the Dark Side, so watch out, HRL... bitches." --Reuters