Expos looking to turn heads in '05
Being that I don't have the spontaneous wit of talented writer Joe Lawrence, I had to hit the dictionary a wee bit to write a prediction for the X's 2005 wiffle season. The outlook (that was bleak at the beginning of the season in '04), looks a tad better for the HRL's Expos this year. There are a few factors combined to make the X a force to be reckoned with in 2005. "Factor" is defined as: one of the elements contributing to a particular result; which this year I predict, will be a NL East Division title and quite possibly a drink from The Cup.
The #4 definition of "Factor" is "a gene," which three Expos share.
Its known that HRL: TC batting title winner J-Ski and save leader M-Ski are brothers, but rookie Marcus Munson shares the same grandmother with them as well. This means one thing: Grandma Pat produced some mad wiffle talent genes that were passed on to her offspring's offspring; not to mention the years and countless hours of childhood wiffles behind the Polish three.
Munson has yet to prove himself to the league, but has proven himself to the X. So, I have two words to describe him: Sex-y. His areolas are sweet, and his swing sweeter. Christian is now back to law school, which means this pesky, floppy, bearded behemoth of a pitcher will be that much smarter on the mound, and as always solid at the plate. Not much is known, wiffle-wise about rookie Andy Campbell, other than he's a fine baseball player/coach and lives in Eagan, near the rink. So this means that at the very least he should show up to the games. Oh yes, he should.
Also, like the Royals, we're in a division of rookies. I like our odds.
Look for Spanky's Bar and Grill in St. Paul to be labeled on the back of the X's shirts this year. As (I believe this could be an HRL first) this neighborhood establishment has the confidence to officially sponsor the X this year.
"X" in the dictionary is also defined as a motion picture rating applied to sexually graphic or explicit films. I have no idea how this works into wiffle ball, but judging from the message board, I'm sure some HRL members can make it apply.
So, being that the Ski brothers' mom is a Murphy, I'll close with my very own Irish Wiffle Prayer:
"May the wind be always at your back. And may your beer belly be big enough to block half of the strike zone. Amen."